davethealbino (aka Dave Short )

Member since February 16, 2012

2 tacks, 3 likes and 1 comment

Hey, I'm Dave.

I like sharp crayons, shiney gadgets, strawberry milk, moleskin journals, and awkward silence.

I believe that if the universe is going to force me to sit and wait on a red light, then treating everyone at the intersection to my favorite Foo Fighters jam is the perfect revenge. When I sing, it's at the top of my lungs. When I dance, its as wild as can be. I'm all or nothing. That goes for everything... From picking the toppings on my pizza to putting myself on the line. I make no excuses and take no prisoners.

I'm a Husband, Father, Brother, Son. I'm a friend, a jokester, and a humble creative genius (haha).

While the rest of the world is conducting an international manhunt for their inner child, I'm living vicariously through episodes of Kick Buttowski. I drive into strange neighborhoods to get lost. I prefer the company of perfect strangers. Some times I brush my teeth with my left hand so I can pretend someone else is doing it for me. I eat cottage cheese because someone has to. I smother it in peaches because WHY THE HECK NOT???! I munch on candy canes and smile way too much. I draw on my arm because I can't settle on a tattoo, and I have an incredible Mickey Mouse impression.

I cant go to the mall without smelling every scent at Bath and Body Works. I mess with people at the grocery store. I blow bubbles on my lunch break, and I eat Chik Fil-A way too much. I don't fish, and I can't hunt. The only gun I have is a chin pistol, but I don't take orders, and I'm no mamby pamby. You can't tell me what to do. I take Dayquil at night. I smack my gum, I hog the remote, and I am fascinated by my DVR. I do three jumping jacks every 10 hours so the day wont be an entire waste of deordorant. I crack my knuckles, love reheated pizza, and have a love affair with mullets.

I teach the world how to shine, my skin is nearly reflective. I dont own a tool box. I can barely stand it when I have to go through an afternoon without watching Phineas and Ferb. I refuse to eat a burger without bacon. I bend pixels, wrangle code, ride the pony in line at Target, and I do my best to keep from being dizzy from all the Fox News I watch.

What else is there to know? My eyes are blue, my hair is gone. I smell like IHOP all the time, and I still enjoy ska music.