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"Are you holy enough for simply going to a church Harvest Festival? NO YOU ARE NOT. Broadcast your righteousness by dressing up as obscure Old Testament figures Shadrach, Meshach, or Abednego …and watch the honeys come runnin. Is that a real beard? Naw girl, that’s just brown paint. But you know what IS real? My crippling social anxiety and abject terror of the female body. But don’t worry–I’ll grow out of it in several dozen years."

Added in Humor

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