Ian Maddox is probably the worst and most factually unreliable candidate for writing his own bio. He has a propensity to grossly exaggerate, to augment accounts, and to err on the side of sensationalism. So for your benifit, instead of the usual fatuous and linguistically prolix David Copper of a memior, allow him to instead simply relate the facts in the most spartanly unadorned and comprehensive manner possible.